Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
