And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
