Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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