So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
