K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
