i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We're too hungover to prance.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
