Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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