Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
