your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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