If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
