I must be too annoying 4 u.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
