all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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