i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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