watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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