Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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