ADVERTISEMENT

• (360): View more from Washington

  I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.

  Fav 30 4812 1865

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  whose oscar?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.

  Fav 29 9276 1217

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.

  Fav 25 4629 1529

  share tweet
  

• (530): View more from California

  Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.

  Fav 7 4244 1184

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (813): View more from Florida

  Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.

  Fav 9 3648 1180

  share tweet
  

• (813): View more from Florida

  If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.

  Fav 26 6459 1319

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (815): View more from Illinois

  Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.

  Fav 7 3015 827

  share tweet
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement

  Fav 2 691 1027

  share tweet
  

• (415): View more from California

  I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...

  Fav 11 555 785

  share tweet
  
• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (937): View more from Ohio

  I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.

  Fav 3 550 775

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming

  Fav 2 706 443

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (305): View more from Florida

  I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us

  Fav 3 561 814

  share tweet
  

• (309): View more from Illinois

  He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.

  Fav 2 631 280

  share tweet
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant

  Fav 1 464 168

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (315): View more from New York

  New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.

  (716): View more from New York

  This is why we're soulmates.

  Fav 2 41 18

  share tweet
  

Randomize