someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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