he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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