Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Are you drinking alone?

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  no, i'm watching house

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  That doesn't count.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  wtf, then i'm always alone

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  (601): Are you drinking alone? (662): no, i'm watching house (601): That doesn't count. (662): wtf, then i'm always alone http://tfl.nu/bvid
  Replies (18) Good night (1028) Bad night (1369)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  addddeeerrraaaallll.

  (641): View more from Iowa

  ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.

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  (319): addddeeerrraaaallll. (641): ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help. http://tfl.nu/xlcd
  Replies (14) Good night (1681) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.

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  (630): you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car. http://tfl.nu/fzr7
  Replies (18) Good night (5767) Bad night (855)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together

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  (630): i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together http://tfl.nu/1hrq
  Replies (36) Good night (6149) Bad night (1797)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...

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  (613): His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat... http://tfl.nu/xzfb
  Replies (13) Good night (1090) Bad night (3305)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I've been living off of popsicles and broth.

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  (703): I've been living off of popsicles and broth. http://tfl.nu/8x3l
  Replies (6) Good night (1175) Bad night (1773)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.

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  (574): I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her. http://tfl.nu/9498
  Replies (3) Good night (2082) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.

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  (512): I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited. http://tfl.nu/hhhk
  Replies (7) Good night (2314) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.

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  (609): Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good. http://tfl.nu/lsij
  Replies (3) Good night (1326) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.

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  (412): Dude, it's not gay. It's winter. http://tfl.nu/4ls1
  Replies (12) Good night (1049) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.

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  (614): We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened. http://tfl.nu/b5dx
  Replies (2) Good night (1264) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Something about Sunday night screams phone sex

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  (443): Something about Sunday night screams phone sex http://tfl.nu/g1ms
  Replies (1) Good night (564) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.

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  (850): Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles. http://tfl.nu/5t8w
  Replies (4) Good night (486) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho

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  (210): Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho http://tfl.nu/voi4
  Replies (1) Good night (650) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?

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  (973): I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right? http://tfl.nu/igvn
  Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (286)

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