i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS