Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.

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(303): I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move. http://tfl.nu/t85w

Replies (17) Good night (2900) Bad night (763)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.

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(508): i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer. http://tfl.nu/bdc9

Replies (37) Good night (2320) Bad night (952)
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(817): View more from Texas

After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.

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(817): After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot. http://tfl.nu/l939

Replies (63) Good night (895) Bad night (8405)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever

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(778): we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever http://tfl.nu/5buf

Replies (8) Good night (4203) Bad night (987)
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(607): View more from New York

I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.

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(607): I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever. http://tfl.nu/15o8

Replies (18) Good night (7624) Bad night (1490)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.

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(250): My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part. http://tfl.nu/8pmc

Replies (11) Good night (1278) Bad night (3480)
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(503): View more from Oregon

This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.

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(503): This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating. http://tfl.nu/ajdd

Replies (15) Good night (1178) Bad night (3484)
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(863): View more from Florida

oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.

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(863): oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows. http://tfl.nu/dnld

Replies (14) Good night (1415) Bad night (3114)
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(224): View more from Illinois

Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal

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(224): Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal http://tfl.nu/8wqr

Replies (2) Good night (2403) Bad night (835)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.

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(304): I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me. http://tfl.nu/6i2r

Replies (6) Good night (2637) Bad night (598)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having

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(720): Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having http://tfl.nu/k4bc

Replies (3) Good night (927) Bad night (592)
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(571): View more from Virginia

Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?

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(571): Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not? http://tfl.nu/ae9g

Replies (13) Good night (1638) Bad night (611)
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(207): View more from Maine

So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right

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(207): So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right http://tfl.nu/bi9y

Replies (7) Good night (1485) Bad night (526)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress

(416): View more from Toronto

Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing

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(416): Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress (416): Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing http://tfl.nu/buq7

Replies (2) Good night (382) Bad night (548)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me

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(541): I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me http://tfl.nu/zpsf

Replies (1) Good night (333) Bad night (402)

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