Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW