Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk