He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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