Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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