i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize