Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
