at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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