Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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