hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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