were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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