remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
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I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
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Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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