Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
