im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
This baby is an asshole
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
