I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
