Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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