After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
