she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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