So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My pussy is not your playground.
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totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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