So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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