Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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