He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
