wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
