I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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