I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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