Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
