so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
