I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
