But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
