corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
