Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
