Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
