I just cut my nipple shaving
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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