If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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