brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We're facebook friends in real life
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
