Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
