Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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