I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
