He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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