okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
