i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
