I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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