she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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