i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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