And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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