No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
