Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
