I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I believe in your delicious
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
