i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis