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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.

  Fav 41 12973 1964

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.

  Fav 26 1904 4188

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (949): View more from California

  I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.

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• (915): View more from Texas

  You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices

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• (845): View more from New York

  I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  You can't die you're my only democrat family member

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby

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• (254): View more from Texas

  I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.

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