Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
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That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
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She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell