Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.