how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.