there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
